Bare with me a moment as I do a little soul cleansing and vent out some things that get on my last nerve (tomorrow I’ll post of list of things I find encouraging):
1. Tailgaters. You are the scourge of the earth and Satan’s minions. Turn or burn.
2. Flip-flops. If you’re too lazy to pick up your feet when you walk, don’t buy them, you can’t handle them, and that sound reveals you as the scourge of the earth and you, too, are among Satan’s minions.
3. Low rise jeans/thong combo. Plumbers butt is plumbers butt no matter who’s sporting it. And I’ve recently returned from a couple of trips to Manhattan during which I saw too many grandmothers wearing this combo. Just stop it. Please stop picking things up, too. I turned a corner at FAO Schwartz and was greeted by a view of what I could only imagine was a naked Rodney Dangerfield wrestling with a Spandex wearing Andy Dick…turned out to be one of those grandmothers picking up her grandchild. Not good.
4. The Nextel chirp. May these wretched phones burn a thousand years as fuel for the fires of hell, and may their users be cursed to watch 500 years of the Tony Danza Show as punishment for using them in the checkout line at the grocery store.
5. “I know that’s what Jesus said, but I think we should…” Insert whatever there, this drives me batty. If you’re belief on X requires negating Jesus’ words and you’ve got the chutzpah to do so, your pride is at an all new high. Get over yourself.
6. “We’re marketing Jesus.” No, we are not. We’re to be imitating Christ, not “selling” him. If you struggle to understand the difference, I’m not sure I can help you (unless you think that slapping you upside the head would help–which would only insure I wouldn’t be imitating him, so I won’t).
7. The Tony Danza Show. Who’s idea was this?
8. Bad coffee. I’ve had my share lately, I don’t know what’s going on. Is there a bean switching conspiracy? Have my taste buds gone wacky? Why can’t I find good coffee all of a sudden?
9. Automated payments that don’t come out when they are supposed to. I’ve been victim three times to automated payments that mysteriously quit, causing all sorts of problems; and from what I’m hearing I’m definitely not alone.
10. Irresponsible renters who skip town after running up tremendous repair bills and unpaid bills.
–I reserve the right to add to this list as the day goes on…